Minister for Boring Affairs

On the day that Sharon Spiteri commented on her aspiration for more English-language literature, The Times began its own foray into redefining the boundaries of contemporary semantics. Consequently, under the rubric of the opinion columns, we found Michael Frendo's bone-dry and bone-headed exegesis of Maltese foreign policy. The article itself purports to be about a document about the recently published "Strategic Objectives of Malta's Foreign Policy", though it is in fact an exact copy of the foreword of the document itself. And speaking of purporting, there is something not altogether felicitous about this sentence:

This document purports to be a framework document that sets out the general lines of the strategic objectives of Malta's foreign policy.

So, where does the line lie, in the mind of The Times' opinion page editor, between publishing the self-serving bureaucratic twaddle of a man who has increasingly taken on the pallor of a Madame Tussuad's waxwork model and an actual opinion. The policy statement has already been reported as a news item in The Times, as well having been the subject of not one, but two other columns by Michael Frendo, whose dead stare has ever more acquired the glassy quality of somebody who has seen things you people wouldn't believe, such as attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion and C-beams glittering in the dark near the Tannhauser gate.
But since Frendo cannot offer anything but verbatim chunks of text written by some unthanked grunt at the ministry, I will have to proffer my own opinion on the so-called strategic objectives. They're rubbish. Consider the first two points:

1. Harness Malta’s geopolitical relevance to maximise political and economic benefits
2. Make a success of European Union membership and contribute towards the construction of a European Union which gives added value to its member states and its citizens

As opposed to what exactly? Would be too much to venture that these ridiculous statements have to be issued from the various ministries from time to time to persuade Castille that they are doing some work at Palazzo Parisio? That and that Frendo has not in fact departed to other world, in spite of his worsening appearance of cadaverousness.

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It is obvious that Andrew Borg Cardona's indefatigable pomposity is specifically designed to consistently aggravate the readers of the Times, but his now regular spot on the restaurant of the week has gone straight from arrogant to ridiculous, and transcended into a whole new level of effrontery.
This week, the fat owl of the remove doesn't even bother denying that he has been given his meal for free, though he does not overlook reminding us that the latest victim of his gorging "is not a cheap place at which to dine out". Not cheap, that is unless the manager is sure that the customer in question is going to write a column about how great the restaurant is. Of course, whether the disinterested readers of the column should be taking the appropriately nicknamed Bocca's advice to heart, considering his faculties for judging taste will have been deadened by the decades of smoking he lobbies for so energetically, is a matter for them to decide.