Come One, Come All

The There was a film I saw a few months ago, The Ninth Configuration, that I would recommend to anybody, if only for the hilarious range of characters in the lunatic asylum in which the story is set. One highlight is the theatre impresario attempting to put a Shakespeare production with an all-dog cast. Another patient believes himself to be a psychiatrist and keeps stealing the real doctors clothes, and so on.
In many ways the Times' letter pages has nothing to envy in its collection of oddballs, religious nuts, sociopathic pedants, narcissists, and the ever dependable bores. Before illustrating, I must say that I was impressed by the almost enjoyable opinion column in today's (Saturday) Times. Even I.M. Beck seemed on better form than usual, insightful and poignant, though he let himself down at the end by giving a tip on some kebab joint he's discovered. I assume that with the smoking ban and all, kebab restaurants are probably about the only places he'll eat in these days.
The letters page on the other hand was a bit more colourful. First, it was graced by a real celebrity, unlike those fools in women's wigs that annually parade on L-Istrina. Because Lili Gruber has some gumption, unlike Maltese politicians, she gets a person with good English to write her letters for her. Of course, it was all a bit self-serving, but a celebrity is a celebrity.
Meanwhile, Alfred Galea of San Gwann provided the pages with their necessary daily dose of religious mania. Mind you, he's either put the wrong address on the envelope or he has a very high opinion of Ray Bugeja:

"God, do not let the crucifixion of your son Jesus and the suffering of His mother Mary, queen of heaven and earth, go unnoticed and unrewarded to mankind."

He is not alone on the catechism front, however, and is suitably complemented by Mgr. Anton Gauci, Oro Pro Nobis, who suggests some light Marian reading, though I think be sticking to my Dan Brown thank you very much:

"The Divine Life Of The Most Holy Virgin by the Ven. Mary of Agreda; The Glories Of Mary by St Alphonsus Liguori; The Life Of Mary As Seen By The Mystics by Raphael Brown (compiler); The Mother Of The Saviour by Fr Reginald Garrigou-Lagrange; Sermons Of St Francis de Sales On Our Lady, edited by Fr Lewis Fiorelli; pages 134-157 of The Faith Of Our Fathers by Cardinal James Gibbons and True Devotion To Mary by St Louis De Montfort."

No letters page would be complete without some whining ninny, and Elaine Azzopardi of Bugibba duly obliges by calling for the authorities to monitor the age of children going to watch King Kong. If I had my way, nobody under the age of 25 would be allowed into any cinema, but this is the price we have to pay for democracy I suppose.
We cannot forget, of course, the mandatory old fart complaining about things not being as they used to be. Bernard A. Vassallo of Swieqi writes what I admit is actually a rather interesting letter about the decline of Maltese, though I can hear him harrumphing from my seat hundreds of miles away.
Who needs TV when you have all this on one page?