Who to Deport

The Times maintains its parish pump function by publishing the late retort to a letter on a subject that pretty nobody gives a rat's cock about. This evident disinterest of the general population does nothing to diminish the enthusiasm of mental midgets first excited by the Voltarian "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it". From time to time, the Times will publish letters by these clowns, and Anna Xuereb's overwrought drivel falls po-facedly into this category.
Because she is wary of appearing petty, she opens with a ridiculously unconvincing claim to possessing irony, which her subsequent undergraduate-level drivel serves well to belie:

"I am half-tempted to discuss amicably with Dennis Vella the merits or otherwise of an official apology to those Maltese citizens arrested without charges and imprisoned, deported and detained in African concentration camps without trial or conviction during the Second World War."

As her bullet-pointed philippic hits its stride, she helpfully gives a numbered framework to her curiously anachronistic argument. This is just as well, for few readers would be prepared to withstand her 1,134 words of sexless gibberish. Indeed, by permitting the long-suffering Times letter page readers to gloss over the paragraphs, Xuereb relieves them from having to put up with redundant pre-emptive and supposedly satirical claims of "misunderstanding", God save us from inverted commas;

...I would be delighted to learn I have misunderstood but, sadly, I rather think I have not...

...By his writing I seem to understand he is an ardent campaigner for ensuring to the police the power to detain persons indefinitely without charge - a view not really welcome in the democratic world. I just hope to have misunderstood...

...Once more, if I have misunderstood, I will of course apologise...

But because this about the Times's editorial policy about publishing letters, what has to be raised is the pompous pretense that inspired this letter, which Xuereb expresses with the desire to "map the moral distance" between herself and the unfortunate Dennis Vella. Though it might be graceful to let her off the hook on the grounds of her apparent grasp of English, her cretinous self-righteousness lets her intentions, whatever they might be, down.
Her reading of Marxist comic books leads her around some peculiar digressions on Imperialist iniquity and American indiscretions, and finally ends with a withering assault on "disgraced colonialism" and "the old colonial Raj". Her house-wife wit is directed more specifically at the loyal Maltese colonial hundred percenter, Dennis Vella, whose hearty letter is evidently on par with the Protocols of the Elders of Zion in its unmitigated propagandistic evil.
The one saving grace of the letter is that is that was not reproduced as an opinion column, though there is much to say on that subject.