Monday, January 16, 2006

Dear Sir, hic!



Silly name, silly man. Have you ever such a foolish name as Ethelwald Emilius Vella? Or rather Dr Ethelwald Emilius Vella, MD, L/RAMC, the retired colonel from Manikata. Yes, that one.
A letter sent to the Times conveys his unfettered ardor for alcohol in all its forms. Among them, incidentally, is Irish poteen, which according to my dictionary is illegally distilled whisky. Beyond advocating breaking the law, it isn't clear to me what purpose it is that Brigadier Ethelwald, which is also the name of a minor character in Lord of the Rings, has in writing this curious letter. Though I have my suspicions, of course.
One of the curses of broadband is the ease with which one can stumble home after a few, switch on the computer, do some research on Albanian dialects, say, and then send some stupid and/or possibly offensive e-mail to one's grandmother. I doubt Colonel Emilius "Desert Rat" Strasser is in receipt of such modern technology, but I imagine the scenario was pretty much the same. After a dram of "old Saxon mead", several tankards of "liqueurs distilled by monks", all washed down by a pail of ever trusty poteen, he must have staggered over to his bureau, clasped his quill and dashed off his love letter to booze. But what doesn't make sense is why he would say that...

Taken wisely and in moderation alcohol is good for you...


...when he was clearly soused when he wrote this. Of course, it is unfair to pick on poor old Lieutenant Engleford when he can't have been anyway as drunk or high than Alan Pulis when he penned his belief that Malta's future as an oil power is just waiting around the corner. Forget it; Malta's more likely to be hit by avian flu than Dutch disease. And anyway, why is he bringing this us when it's nowhere near election time? The miserable old git can't even let Malta enjoy something it doesn't even have without trying to give it a guilt trip:
But then, apart from specific environmental impacts, how would Malta's eventual striking of oil configure with the need to encourage a shift towards the use of clean renewable energy? Rightly so, in his article Mr Muscat refers to the fair distribution of wealth derived from oil production activities. However, it must be ensured that any economic gains derived from oil production are also channelled towards the eventual implementation of clean energy alternatives.
Bah! Switch the light the out before you leave the room will you.

6 comments:

Fausto Majistral said...

Do you think it's his real name? I mean, it sounds like satire.

david said...

When the bloke first started sending letters to The Times, I thought that it was just a big piss-take. But if it were, wouldn't the folks at the paper have cottoned on by now?

Or could it be that they simply enjoy giving him the space to hang himself while he still believes he's taking them for a ride?

Come to think of it, it could easily be Sant doing an Evelyn Costa on the public at large.

Jacques René Zammit said...

Now now... coming from two punctillious bloggers like FM and D these last two comments are disappointing. Here are the results from www.maltacom.com (otherwise known as the telephone directory)

Vella Ethelwald Emilius
Medical Doctor
'Der Lindenbaum'
Triq il-Mejjiesa
Manikata
Mellieha

21572594

May also be reached at 21578081.

Oh Lindenbaum Oh Lindenbaum

david said...

Punctillious? When did I ever correct anyone's spelling? Or di-ve's grammar for that matter? The pot calling the kettle...

vlad said...

Well, I would call him, but he'll probably want me to answer a riddle or something.

Anonymous said...

How on earth can you make such a comment about someone you've never met? If it wasn't for brave people such as Dr Vella (who, aside from being an expert on tropical diseases (thereby saving many lives worldwide), spent much of his war years manning anti-aircraft guns and ensuringthe people of your island didn't spend the rest of their lives speaking German).

Next time, do some research before speaking ill of someone. Malta, and the world, needs more men like Dr Vella