On Drugs

I must say that when I recently got round reading Guze Stagno's trash novel (or is that rubbish novel?), I got the distinct impression that the jaded youth of Malta had finally got round to following in their European counterparts' fondness for drugs. And yet I heard today in an answer from Tonio Borg to a parliamentary question from 16 January that these are the paltry amounts of drugs seized in 2005:

Cocaine - 6 kilogrammes
Heroin - 15 kilogrammes

This is already worrying, as it suggests that Malta has a very low class of drug user indeed. Alternatively, the statistic might prove the opposite, that people using cocaine in Malta are so influential that neither they nor their dealers are ever hassled by the authorties. And if you think 6 kilogrammes is a large amount, that makes about 0.01 gram for every man, woman and child on this island, which is a risible amount. Frankly, I don't see how children are expected to pass their exams on such paltry rations.
Then, Tonio Borg says something very strange that suggests why the country might be going to pot, so to speak. If you listen here from 4:16 onwards you will hear the list, and when he gets to cannabis, he distinctly says "cannabis grass, kilt kilogramma". You heard it here first folks.
He then gives us the rest of the list, with a bronze face it must be said.

Cannabis resin - 5 kilogrammes
Cannabis plants - 3 plants (for God's sake)
LSD - 3 microdots
Methadone - 250 millilitres

But you know that Malta has really got itself a crack police force with the next stat. I mean, this is really FBI stuff. I don't remember this drug bust myself, but it must have been a sensation. Pablo Escobar must be turning in his grave. Will the Cali drug cartel survive? Will this break the back of international drug-smuggling? Has the scourge of drug abuse finally been vanquished? Sweet Halleluljah! Rejoice, rejoice, for as Tonio Borg tells us:

Tramal - 1 pill

In case my lonely handful of readers are wondering why I am listening to this stuff, the recording of the parliament has now become my iPod listening of choice on my daily morning bike ride. And I nearly fell of my bike with laughter when I heard this (from around 7:56); a grown man barely containing his peurile amusent at the idea of prostitution. The Deputy Prime Minister's badly disguised mirth falters badly when he cites the statistic on male prostitutes arrested last year, a measure of classy statesmanship no doubt.
So between the drugs and the prostitutes, Malta's in good hands.

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And on a related subject, from the same recording, maybe someone could sample a dance track with the clip (at 16:47) of Jesmond Mugliett saying "ma nafx il-frekwenza tat-trips". Just an idea.